On the Line

On the Line

Hey everyone! My best friends new EP dropped today, and I’d love if everyone went and checked it out! Happily Available on iTunes, Spotify and SoundCloud!

On the Line-Kalyn


 

Advertisements
5.7.2017

5.7.2017

Yesterday was my birthday, 28 I have arrived. For whatever reason, this birthday was really hard for me, I actually burst into tears. Jokingly I referred to it as my obligatory birthday weep. I’m not even old, but I think I pictured my life being very different this year than it was last year and it’s just not. Regardless, I was being dramatic and I’m fine. I don’t particularly like birthdays [for myself] as it is, and so this year I’m just being a big ol’ birthday baby.


I really missed my friends this year too, and being away from them was incredibly difficult. I think because I was just with all of them on my work-cation, feeling their love and presence, it made it harder to be away from them on my birthday, than it had any other year. Honestly once I cried it out and had that “I’m so old” heart to heart with my husband, I felt so much better. I kept it all in because I didn’t want to admit I was upset, which only led to me crying. A totally preventable situation, that I completely fell into. 


July 4th I went on a big ten mile birthday hike to a lake. I was told it was gonna be easier than it was, but honestly, after I was done with it I’m grateful it wasn’t. There was like 2 miles of incline hiking, and my calves are still feeling it two days later. 

On our hike back to the car we ran into some teenagers who were wearing flip flops, and carrying bags with snacks and towels, also headed to the lake. My fat ass was sweating bullets after almost 4 hours of hiking like, “good luck kids, I’m not sure you understand what you’ve signed up for”.


 

My best friend got a Fitbit, and so we are doing the work week hustle challenge. Thanks to that insane hike, as of yesterday I was crushing him. But honestly with it being my birthday yesterday and my calves being on FIRE, I barely did anything. He will likely end up beating me!

The husband I have started a high protein, low carb, meal prepped diet. My husband is only doing it to be supportive, which is incredible and so much appreciated. I have a hard time sticking to diet because I want to feed him what he wants, and I also like to eat those foods. Problem is, if I even smell a carb or a junk food, I can feel my weight piling on. So his support has been monumental. So far I’ve already lose 5 pounds, but I’m not gonna weigh myself but once a week, I’m trying to not obsess which is totally my usual crutch. So fingers crossed moving forward it’s gonna be so much healither for me.

Get to Know Me

Get to Know Me

I decided since I have been doing this for a few months now, maybe it’s time to write a little get to know me. I found this list of questions for bloggers/vloggers, to hopefully you can get to know me better, in a fun but transparent way.

  1. Height: 5’2″ish, I never really know. My husband is short too, and I know he’s taller than me, but I don’t know that I’ve ever really measured myself. I think it’s about 5’2″
  2. Weight: HA! too much. Isn’t that like a significant portion of this blog as of late?
  3. Age: 28 in 3 days
  4. Degree: I am a self aware art school drop out. I did do 5 years. It’s a convoluted story, but I did not graduate. Someone cue up the beauty school drop out song, from Grease.
  5. Job: Currently I am a stay at home wife. This wasn’t really expected, I was a full time nanny in San Francisco. Hopefully in the next year or two we will start a family, and there will be more to do all day than blogging and playing mmo video games. HAHA, no I am not complaining. But my job is currently making sure my husband and home are minded.
  6. Sign: Cancer! Completely too. My husband doesn’t believe in signs, but this girl sure as shit does. I’m emotional, completely in sync with the moon, and a pure water baby.
  7. Piercings: My belly button is pierced, septum and my ears are stretched. I don’t see why these things are on lists, like why? 
  8. Tattoos: I have a few, I am not going to count and list them. Don’t ask me about my tattoos, haha. What am I like 18 and showing off all my siq inkkkkk
  9. Languages: My primary language is English, however I speak a little of what I call Spanglish with my Abuela. I am by no means fluent in Spanish though.
  10. You Might Not Know: Probably a lot of things if were being honest. This is still such a new blog, which is developing still. Probably because of that, you should know at least, I am crass, blunt and potty mouthed. I swear too much and I’m so honest it’s rude. 
  11. Special Talents: What constitutes a special talent? I have a special talent of annoying my family. Does that count? Im not even being hard on myself, I have so many talents and good qualities but I wouldn’t consider them unique or special?
  12. Sports: SF Giants and Oakland Athletics. GO SPORTS
  13. Hobbies: I, along with my husband and best friend, play MMO video game together. I’d consider that my hobby. I love crafts too, but I’ve been without the space for the last year to really do any.
  14. What I Miss: I miss the apartment I was in just before I met my husband. But like when he lived there too. Almost all my best friends in one house, who could ask for more? Honestly that whole environment, was incredible and I miss it daily,
  15. Qualities I Value Most: Honesty. It’s the most important thing in the world to me. Like, lies have their importance, place and time. But overall, I will always be honest. With me you get what you see and I expect the same in return. 
  16. Favorite Color: Black? Does that count? I like nice ashy purples, and super light greens. But overall I’m a neutral kind of girl. I like charcoal tones and super pale pastels.
  17. Favorite Food: COMFORT FOOD! I can eat basically anything I shouldn’t. Mac n’ cheese, mashed potatoes, ice cream, and nuggets. All so fucking terrible for me, but I live for it. 
  18. Favorite Song: Ever? Like if I had to pick one song to hear for the rest of eternity it would be Oh! You Pretty Things, by David Bowie. Forever my favorite song. 
  19. Favorite Bands: I am such a sad goth kid grown up. My go-to musicians are probably, Bowie, Morrisey/The Smiths (please note different but together), the Cure, Psychedelic Furs, Joy Division, Depeche Mode, Souxie and the Banshees and just like fill in the blank for anything else that fits this description. I was completely obsessed with HIM and Cradle of Filth as a teen. I’m totally that guy.
  20. Favorite Concerts: All of them? I think the one I had the most fun at ever was when I saw Misfits with one of my besties in like 2008.
  21. Favorite Flower: Dahlias, and Peonies. 10/10 I think they’re SO beautiful, and I’m such a sucker for them.
  22. Favorite Movie: I have a few. The movie that holds the closest piece of my heart is easily Troll 2, which actually was the thing that ended up being the “click” for my husband and I. The movie I hold close to, sentimentally, is definitely Rocky Horror Picture Show, my brother and I basically grew up on that. In fact we have matching RHPS tattoos.
  23. Favorite Book: Oh this is SUCH a tough one, I have so many favorite books. How about instead of name all my favorite books- go check out my goodreads. 
  24. Favorite Quote: Mulder, it’s me.
  25. The reason I started blogging: Mostly as a means to do something. I’ve been so bored and I needed an outlet. My husband’s got enough on his plate, he doesn’t need to hear me moan all day too. Haha!
  26. Fears: I’m kind of obsessed with my teeth. My biggest fear ever is that they just fall out one day. I actually constantly dream about them falling out, and it terrifies me into the next dimension. 
  27. Last thing that made me cry: Ha! Girl I’m always crying. Usually cuz I’m happy for someone else, and their happiness moves me. Roast me, I don’t care. I probably cried at some old man getting a puppy video like within the last hour.
  28. Last time I said I loved someone: While writing this post. I am a firm believer that you should tell the people you love, that you love them, as often as possible.
  29. Meaning behind my blog name: Uh Goblin is a nickname, Girl Goblin is a Frank Zappa song, also I’m unoriginal and couldn’t think of a single thing.
  30. Currently Reading: Currently I am not reading anything. I’ve had a hard time focusing on a book lately, so for the moment I am listening to podcasts.
  31. Relationship with the last person I texted: One of my BFFs, K. She’s basically in love with me, and I’m always like, girl get off my D. (Just kidding, I know she’ll read this.)
  32. Places I want to visit: Everywhere! I really long to travel. My life dream (the unrealistic kind) is to close my eyes and point to a spinning globe, and go. 
  33. Last place I traveled to: What constitutes as traveling? I took the train the San Francisco a few weeks back, but that’s basically my home town and I don’t really count it. Before that it would probably be Disneyland like 3.5 years ago. We need a vacation!
  34. Any Instruments I play: uhhhhh… I don’t? I play a pretty sick “face to fan” screeching. But no one wants to hear that. Shit, I don’t even want to hear it.

This hasn’t been very informative really, but it was fun to do! I don’t blame you if you skipped all the way to the end, or just left! But if you’re still here, I hope this was in some way informative. 

19.5.2017

19.5.2017

I am weak. I lasted about a half a week before giving up on running again. I’m back on the running wagon again, actually switched back to using a FitBit too. I basically asked my husband to just make me go for a jog. I’m one of those people who rarely does things for myself. I find it’s easier to do things for other people than for myself, which arguably is probably a huge part of my depression, but I’m working on it. So if he “makes” me do it, I’m doing it for him, for us to hopefully start a family this year, etc. It’s not about me at that point, and for me it’s just easier. Which is lame, but whatever, I have a plethora of character flaws.

This of course all was kicked back into full fucking force, when the lady at the local grocer asked my husband how far along I am. Which is hurtful for more than one reason. Firstly, I’m obviously not pregnant, but in this small town, I’m like the oldest person without a child and starting a family is something I want basically more than anything as soon as we are moved.

Obviously the second reason would be because I am obese (for me), and like thanks for pointing out (unintentionally) how fucking huge I have gotten. Why can’t I be one of those people who gets depressed and just doesn’t eat. I don’t actually mean that. But being the opposite of it, has its own equally annoying battles.

Mother’s day was a total drain on my existence. Not that it was too terrible, but as per I don’t really get along with my mom and she was a total fucking pain. Nothing was good enough, she hovered the entire time I tried (with my brother) to make her a nice meal. Of course, as soon as it was all said and done, she made sure to post on Facebook how great we are. Not because she actually feels that way, but because she wanting some degree of a bragging point. Frustrating, but it’s over, until next year.

I am still very much so looking forward to going home to the bay area in the next few weeks. I have a whole planned mapped out, plus Amtrak is running again, so no Greyhound! Which is honestly music to my god dang ears. They’re about equally as long of a ride, but I can sleep on the train, use Wi-Fi, and will have full access to a powder room. Which means the 9-am arrival time, I can be fully cleaned up and ready to hang with all my pals that day!

VERY GOOD THINGS

VERY GOOD THINGS

In my effort to work on my depression, here is my weekly installment of VERY GOOD THINGS!

  • As always the love and support I get from my husband and friends, is irreplaceable.
  • The family I used to nanny for, for 3 years, needs me to sit their kids for 72 straight hours, home in San Francisco. I love those kids so much, and am excited to get to spend some real-time at home, that I have never been so excited to work!
  • I got new SHOES! AirMax Thea’s; I needed new shoes so bad and this was just so satisfying!
  • When I am working in the city, I should be able to see an immigration judge, which *should* propel our move forward swiftly, fingers crossed.
  • I have been continuing my running at least 5x a week, which has been super hard, but I also feel like it’s improving my mood.
  • My husband and I had a really good talk, where I just let everything off my chest, about being here, my family, and my mental health. Which was a bit of word vomit, but so cleansing, and a relief to do.

What are you grateful for this week?